Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
