Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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