Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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