last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
