He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
