Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
