at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
