My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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