Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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