like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
