My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
