he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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