Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Your mouth is God's brothel.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
