You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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