Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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