This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
