glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
