I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
