She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
