yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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