Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
