Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
