my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Please, let me fuck your mom
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
