I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
