Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
