The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Drunk is not a location!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize