i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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