My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is wine microwaveable?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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