well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
