Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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