honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
