I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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