I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
another moral hangover. fuck.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
