wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
