I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
