At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
