her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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