i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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