it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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