i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Randomize
