apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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