Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
