On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
