Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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