I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
