I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
