I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize