I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
