i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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