I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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