i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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