why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
