I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
