It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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