Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize