when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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