Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
