I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Barsexuality is the new black.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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