Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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