I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
