I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Randomize
