Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He has the fingertips of a God
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